Under the last full moon in Aquarius having a grand ol’ time listening to Kenny Chesney – I soaked in the bright lights and hoopin’ and hollering I had a thought.  I was thinking, “Wow, Kenny Chesney has been performing for years.  I wondered if he ever dreamed of performing at so many packed amphitheaters of people singing his songs back to him?”  Just as that thought passed, Kenny announced during his song that,  “this song is about a beautiful girl with a big heart wanting to make her dreams come true. Do we have any women like that out there?!?!.”
In that moment of clarity I let out a whooping scream then I sat back in  my chair and thought “I am still dreaming of what I want in life.”  It seems like a dream because never in a 1,000 years would I have thought I deserved to be seating in VIP box with cushioned seats for a country concert!   I exhaled with a thought of gratitude realizing how blessed I was.

The thing is, it took a lot of work, inner work, to actually realize that I was worthy to invest in me.  Like many of the women I support, I was raised to work hard, keep a secure job and walk a straight and narrow line – and you will be successful.  That mentality really squashed any vibrancy of being the unique individual I am designed to be.  (Side note we are all beautiful and unique individuals by the way.)

 

When I inherited some money from my grandma a few years back, I often felt guilty for all HER hard earned money.  Because remember, my thought was the only way you can be successful is if YOU do the hard work and YOU sacrifice to EARN the life you want.  I wrestle years with guilt of receiving such a gift and I also suffered a great deal of not feeling worthy to even use it or if I used it, it needed to be for someone else besides me.
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Have you ever had thoughts of guilt because someone did something for you and you “owed” them.  Or maybe you really wanted to ask for help from someone but dare not to because you didn’t want to appear weak?
You know that inner work I mentioned earlier.  One of the best solutions, medicine or remedies I stumbled into for these types of thoughts and feelings was working with flower essences.
I remember the day as I sat on the phone with Ameya, hardened and eyes welling up with tears, when I said “I feel like a fraud in my practice.  I’ve been working really really hard but I haven’t made very much money and I’m still able to put food on the table and live in this amazing home.”  I continued with, “I’m just don’t feel worthy to be even having a coaching practice because I haven’t worked hard enough to get clients.”
In that moment I sobbed.  She paused, a long pause and said “there’s this quote I remember during a conference.” As she gave more of the background of the speaker and continued, “what he said was ‘we are the answers to our ancestors prayers’ and this is what I hear for you.”  Ameya went on to to reflect to me that just because I was blessed to receive what I had from my grandmother, didn’t mean that I would never receive blessings again.  It didn’t mean that we only get one chance to go through the line to receive.
At the time I felt better because I was able to cry.  I never really realized how deeply rooted my guilt or worthiness issues really ran.  The reason I share this with you is because in order to dream, dream REALLY big, we have to be willing to let go of those thoughts, experiences and expectations that are preventing us to do so.  – like Oprah being told she never make it on TV.  That’s now hilarious!
In this case, the flower essences were my answer to breaking thought the limiting beliefs and the false reasonings of thinking I wasn’t worthy to receive a life of amazing possibilities – like sitting in box seats at a country concert.  Believe me, I’ve done the cheap seats and lawn seats too, there’s nothing wrong with them.  And then there comes a time to upgrade your life, when you are ready to receive.
After that call with Ameya, I received my monthly formula and since I was a practitioner she asked us to look up what the flowers were in the remedy.  The formula that Ameya sent me consisted of
  • Sunflower – uplifting happiness and in conceiving something other than a human like e a business, art project, strength, focus determination and personal power
  • Buttercup – to attract abundance, initiate ancient wisdom, and helps deepe:n connection to Spirit and help manifest your deepest dreams and desires
  • Marie Wild Orchid – to help us posses the confidence and regal attitude to allow us to claim our throne and reign supreme, especially when working on self-esteem, help to express uniqueness in constructive ways and to step beyond our fear from failure and ridicule
  • Lousewort – changing attitude and expectation from probabilities and possibilities to living in a new paradigm
  • Desert Prince’s Plume – allow one to really come out in the world, to take a stand and to be really comfortable in being seen

As I write this formula I received, I’m in awe of how appropriate it was at that time, back in July of 2015, to even now.  In this moment of intense Virgo energy, one that can be of deep beauty, love and of service – to me feels hard, overly critical, and seriously judgmental as we build to the New Moon.

As a society we often envy or even idolize big stars, what they have and how amazing their life must be.  What we don’t realize is the challenges, hardships or work that people put in never makes the headlines, Facebook feed or Instagram story.  Or if their craziness does make the scene, then we think “never in a million years would I want to be like them.  The money would be nice but no thank you on the drama.”

But in essence what were doing is still dreaming.  We’re imagining what if I was, (fill in the blank.)  So now I deepen into my thoughts of “what is it that I really do want?  What does it feel like, who am I with, what are we doing?” Using that intense Virgo analytical energy to come up with these questions.  So although this all began under the Full Moon listen to some tunes, on the cusp of a New Moon, I realized that now is the time to really start making these big dreams a reality by:

  1. Giving myself the space to be really clear on what those big dreams are, that includes meditation, journaling, and reading
  2. Ensuring that the steps to those dreams are achievable, while also realizing that there is no straight line to achieving them, then making sure that these steps are written down and ritualized in some fashion
  3. Getting back to the basics to ensure I have a good foundation, including proper nourishment, sleep, movement AND muscle testing my New Moon Flower Essence Formula to support these dreams and desires!!!
  4. Committing to each week selecting the three most important things that must receive some sort of focus and energy, and each day that week picking another three most important to-dos that relate to those important weekly focused activities – and being ok if those things are not even related to each other
  5. TRUST.  Trust in me, trust in others, trust that I am right where I am suppose to be at any given moment – no matter what, just TRUST

So I invite you to try these five things out I mention above.  And if you get stuck or want to know more about how flower essences can best support your dreams, just click here to:  START YOUR JOURNEY  There’s always room to explore.

Sending you love!

Jenn